Whoa. Wait. What? by Sam Ike


By Sam Ike
Photo: © Depositphotos.com/Couperfield

 

Vanessa : Honey, I swear it was her!

Gerald: It doesn’t make any sense.

Vanessa: What in this town makes sense?

Gerald: I think you’re just imagining things.

Vanessa: You saw her?

Gerald: Yes.

Vanessa: So you know it was her?

Gerald: No.

Vanessa: It clearly was.

Gerald: It was someone that wasn’t her but had similar features.

Vanessa: How can say for certain that the woman on that motorcycle is not Sigourney Weaver?

Gerald: Why would Sigourney Weaver be on a motorcycle in Utica?

Vanessa: Maybe she’s shooting an Easy Rider remake.

Gerald: And she decided to just drive out on her own to practice?

Vanessa: I would be, if I wanted to be authentic.

Gerald: Well why would she be wearing her costume while she’s driving?

Vanessa: Hmm….maybe because she’s truly in character?

Gerald: It wasn’t her.

Vanessa: You didn’t get a good look. I could tell. I can see from the driver’s side that it was clearly her.

Gerald: I can almost positively say that from my point of view that woman was not Sigourney Weaver.

Vanessa: Almost. I saw it. She had that Sigourney Weaver look.

Gerald: The look?

Vanessa: Yeah, that look she always makes in movies for when she’s about to do or say something badass.

Gerald: Alright please stop doing that.

Vanessa: You’re not even looking.

Gerald:  You look like you just drank a bottle of vinegar. And please pay attention to the road.

Vanessa: Just admit that was totally her.

Gerald: She wasn’t making that look. It was more like this.

Vanessa: That’s a Sigourney trademark!

Russell: Hey can you please untie me?

Vanessa: Shut up back there!

Gerald: Do you want the gag back on?

Vanessa: That’s what I thought.

Gerald: I’m looking online, she’s filming a movie in Canada about 5 hours out.

Vanessa: See!

Gerald: Doesn’t mean it was her but it doesn’t totally eliminate the possibility.

Vanessa: I just don’t get why she was posing.

Gerald: I know, there was no camera.

Russell: Maybe she was-

Vanessa: What did I say?

 

Sam Ike is a comedian from Boston. As a stand up he’s appeared at the Milwuakee Comedy Festival. His sketch group Friends of Gertrude performed at the Philly Sketchfest and the Boston Comedy Festival. Occasionally Sam writes stuff on UnsceneComedy.com and he enjoys doing that. Every month Sam hosts a talk show at ImprovBoston called “So That Happened”. Often Sam can be found rewriting his bio.

Funnyordie.com/fogcomedy
@TheSamIke