Woman And Her Horse
by Maria Wojciechowski
Photo: © Depositphotos.com/konradbak

WOMAN

Mr. Horse, get over here.

HORSE

Oh, brother. What is it this time?

WOMAN

It’s a surprise! Don’t be such a sour-puss.

HORSE

Listen, woman—

WOMAN

Don’t call me—

HORSE

Hey, Don’t interrupt me. I’m trying to insult you.

WOMAN

“Hey” Woman laughs. (BEAT) Oh… I’m sorry. Please, go on.

Horse stops. Woman lets go.

HORSE

What happened to us?

WOMAN

I … I don’t know.

HORSE

We used to be happy, you and me.

WOMAN

Riding off into the sunset

HORSE

Through fields

WOMAN

And meadows

HORSE

Other types of landscapes.

WOMAN

Now we look like we are in a country music video.

HORSE

Or album cover

WOMAN

Or online stock photo.

Both laugh.

HORSE

I’m sorry for being such a turd.

WOMAN

It’s okay. I’m sorry for being such a diaper butt.

HORSE

Friends?

WOMAN

Friends.

Woman and Horse embrace.

HORSE

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

WOMAN

I sure am!

HORSE / WOMAN

Romantic dinner! / Swim lessons!

HORSE

You are such a diaper butt.

Horse and Woman laugh and laugh and laugh because of the witty banter they just had, and then they ride off into the sunset through fields or meadows or some other type of landscape. Also, they live happily ever after. OR DO THEY!?!

***

Maria Wojciechowski is a comedian! She’s on Twitter at @riawojo! She has lots of videos on YouTube!